Sometimes a person lives as if their life has long been approved by someone else – who they should be, what they should want, how they should act, and what is considered “right.” Dr. Daniel Reinhardt says – the habit of orienting oneself around others’ expectations forms where personal desires were not allowed to exist for a long time. At MindCareCenter, we often see how external “correctness” hides a deep loss of contact with oneself and the sense that life is being lived not from the inside, but according to someone else’s script.
At MindCareCenter, people come who appear organized and well-adapted on the outside. They know how to meet expectations, be convenient, and justify the hopes of family, partners and society. Inside, however, a sense of emptiness and exhaustion accumulates. A person may not understand why life feels heavy, since “everything is fine.” In reality, the burden comes not from workload, but from the constant abandonment of oneself in favor of others’ expectations.
Specialists at MindCareCenter note – living in a mode of constant adaptation often begins early. A child learns that love, acceptance and safety depend on being convenient. Over time, this becomes an internal rule – others first, me later. In adulthood, a person continues to live by this rule even when the external threat is long gone. Career choices, relationships and lifestyles are selected not because they feel right, but because they are “expected.”
Gradually, at MindCareCenter, a person begins to notice how this habit affects their inner state. Chronic fatigue, irritability and apathy appear, along with the sense that achievements bring little satisfaction. Inside, a quiet question may arise – “Where am I in all of this?” Yet answering it feels frightening, because after years of living for others, one’s own desires become difficult to recognize.
Work with this issue at MindCareCenter is not about abruptly rejecting others’ expectations. We do not encourage radical self-centeredness. Instead, we explore where a person stopped being the author of their own life and which decisions were made out of fear of losing connection, love or approval. As these moments become visible, the right to choose begins to return – gradually and without destruction.
At MindCareCenter, special attention is given to restoring sensitivity to inner signals. A person learns to notice what truly resonates and what does not, where there is genuine interest and where there is only automatic “should.” This is delicate work, because reclaiming authorship often comes with anxiety – fear of disappointing others, being inconvenient or stepping out of familiar roles. Yet this is precisely where the movement toward an authentic life begins.
Over time, at MindCareCenter, a person starts to feel the difference between compromise and self-abandonment. They learn to say “yes” from desire rather than obligation, and “no” without inner collapse. A sense returns that life belongs to them, that they can rely on themselves rather than external approval. This does not damage relationships – on the contrary, it makes them more honest and stable.
If you feel that you have long been living according to what is “right” rather than what feels true, if your decisions are constantly shaped by others’ expectations – this is not a lack of character. It is a loss of contact with your own authorship. At Mind Care Center, we help restore this connection gently – step by step – so that life can once again be experienced as truly yours, not as a task to be completed.
Previously, we wrote about the loss of sensitivity to oneself, when emotions fade and life becomes flat.