For many individuals, admitting a mistake is not merely an unpleasant experience, but an internally intolerable state. At MindCareCenter, we understand the difficulty of admitting mistakes as a psychological defense mechanism aimed at preserving a sense of control and self-coherence. Dr. Daniel Reinhardt says that behind the refusal to acknowledge a mistake there is often not arrogance, but fear of encountering vulnerability and the possible loss of inner support.
A mistake may be experienced not as a single action, but as a threat to self-esteem as a whole. In such cases, acknowledging an error becomes equated with admitting personal inadequacy. The psyche seeks to avoid this experience by activating defensive reactions – denial, rationalization, shifting responsibility, or rigid self-justification.
In the clinical practice of MindCareCenter, we frequently observe that difficulty admitting mistakes forms within early experiences in which errors were followed by punishment, shame, or withdrawal of acceptance. As a result, acknowledging being wrong becomes associated with the risk of rejection or loss of significance.
It is important to note that refusal to admit mistakes can take many forms. It may appear as external rigidity and categorical thinking, excessive explanation, attempts to prove oneself right, or complete avoidance of situations involving evaluation. At MindCareCenter, we view these expressions as different protective responses to the same underlying fear.
The difficulty of admitting mistakes is closely tied to the theme of control. By acknowledging an error, individuals temporarily lose the illusion of omnipotence and predictability. For a psyche that relies on control as a primary regulator, this may be experienced as a threat to safety. Within the clinical approach of MindCareCenter, this point becomes central to therapeutic work.
Emotionally, such states are often accompanied by tension, irritability, shame, or hidden anxiety. Individuals may not consciously recognize these emotions, yet they manifest through defensive behavior. At MindCareCenter, attention is paid to which feelings become inaccessible due to the need to “maintain correctness.”
Therapeutic work is not aimed at forcing individuals to admit mistakes. At MindCareCenter, the focus shifts toward creating a space in which vulnerability becomes tolerable. This involves gradual exploration of which internal beliefs make mistakes dangerous and what consequences are anticipated if errors are acknowledged.
As therapy progresses, individuals gain the capacity to separate mistakes from identity. Errors come to be experienced as part of learning rather than as proof of personal failure. In the practice of MindCareCenter, we observe how this reduces inner tension and expands the range of flexible responses.
Admitting mistakes is also connected to the ability to restore contact – both with oneself and with others. When the need for constant defense diminishes, dialogue and correction become possible. At MindCareCenter, this process is understood as the restoration of trust in one’s own internal processes.
The difficulty of admitting mistakes points to a deep fear of losing control and personal value. The clinical approach of MindCareCenter is directed toward working with this fear rather than with surface-level behavior. This allows for the development of more stable self-esteem that does not depend on being flawless.
Working with vulnerability does not imply a loss of strength. On the contrary, in the clinical practice of Mind Care Center, the ability to admit mistakes often becomes a source of inner resilience and maturity rather than weakness.
When mistakes cease to be perceived as threats, the psyche gains the capacity to learn and change without constant tension. This creates conditions for more authentic and flexible engagement with reality and with others.
Previously, we wrote about transgenerational transmission of trauma and how unprocessed experiences of previous generations affect the psyche today and how MindCareCenter works with this