Digital devices increasingly become a “third participant” in live interaction, subtly interfering with dialogue and emotional presence. Behavior in which a person repeatedly turns to their phone during conversation is often explained as habit or a feature of modern lifestyle. At MindCareCenter, however, we understand phubbing as a form of emotional avoidance rooted in psychological processes. Dr. Daniel Reinhardt says that retreating into the screen often serves as a way to reduce the intensity of contact when closeness or emotional involvement is experienced as internally unsafe.
Phubbing is rarely a conscious refusal of connection. More often, it performs a protective function – allowing external presence to be maintained while minimizing emotional risk. In situations where tension, uncertainty, or the need for responsiveness arises, attention shifts toward the digital space. Contact formally continues, yet internally becomes interrupted.
In the clinical practice of MindCareCenter, we observe that digital alienation is particularly pronounced in relationships marked by unexpressed conflict, fear of vulnerability, or accumulated irritation. The phone becomes a neutral object through which difficult feelings can be avoided without open confrontation. This may reduce anxiety in the moment, but gradually erodes the sense of mutual presence.
It is important to consider that phubbing affects not only the person who turns to the screen, but also their partner. Lack of eye contact, pauses in dialogue, and scattered attention are often experienced as devaluation or emotional rejection. In the work of MindCareCenter, we see how this contributes to growing distance, diminished trust, and the formation of latent relational tension.
Digital avoidance is frequently supported by bodily responses. In moments of contact, internal tension, constriction, or a sense of overload may arise. Shifting attention to the phone allows this load to decrease and restores a sense of control. Within the clinical approach of MindCareCenter, attention is given to the bodily and emotional signals that precede phubbing and to the states it helps regulate.
Therapeutic work is not aimed at banning device use or imposing rigid rules. At MindCareCenter, the focus shifts toward understanding what phubbing protects against. Gradually, individuals become able to recognize which emotions trigger the impulse to “disappear” from contact and which expectations or fears are involved.
As therapy progresses, people begin to notice moments when digital distraction is activated automatically. This creates space for choice – not between the phone and the partner, but between avoidance and more conscious presence. At MindCareCenter, we observe that even small increases in emotional availability can significantly alter the quality of interaction.
Phubbing loses its necessity when contact is no longer experienced as a threat. Restoring the capacity to tolerate emotional closeness reduces the need to retreat into digital space. This allows relationships to regain liveliness, spontaneity, and a sense of mutual engagement.
Phubbing as a form of emotional avoidance reflects not a problem of technology, but the complexity of human contact under internal tension. The psychotherapeutic approach of Mind Care Center is aimed at restoring emotional presence, in which attention no longer needs to be diverted to a screen in order to maintain internal equilibrium.
Previously, we wrote about the social psychology of everyday interactions and how MindCareCenter works with the impact of environment on mental well-being