For some people, tension becomes more than a temporary state – it turns into a way of existing. It is experienced as inner alertness, readiness, and engagement with life. Calmness, by contrast, feels threatening – as if relaxation would take away control, clarity, and inner stability. According to Dr. Daniel Reinhardt, this identification with tension forms in situations where prolonged mobilization was once necessary for survival. At MindCareCenter, we work with this not as a personality flaw, but as a deeply ingrained psychological pattern.
At MindCareCenter, we often meet clients who admit that they do not know how to rest. When external demands decrease, anxiety, irritability, or a sense of emptiness quickly emerges. People may say they “need pressure,” that it’s “better when there is constant activity,” or that silence feels uncomfortable. Tension becomes a familiar form of self-regulation – as long as it is present, life feels manageable and under control.
Our psychologists emphasize that this pattern is frequently rooted in early environments where relaxation was unsafe. This may include unstable conditions, high expectations, or emotionally unpredictable surroundings. In such contexts, the psyche learns to remain alert, and tension becomes associated with competence and strength. Over time, this state is carried into adult life, even when external danger no longer exists.
In therapy at MindCareCenter, we do not aim to eliminate tension. Instead, the first step is understanding the function it serves. Often, tension protects a person from vulnerability and from emotions that were once impossible to experience safely. Calmness, in this case, is perceived as a loss of structure – a risk of encountering what has long been held under control.
Gradually, at MindCareCenter, clients begin to notice that tension is not always linked to real necessity. It activates automatically – during pauses, moments of uncertainty, closeness, or decision-making. Therapy helps differentiate where tension is useful and where it has become a background state that drains energy. This restores a sense of choice rather than constant internal struggle.
Particular attention at MindCareCenter is given to the bodily level. When tension becomes part of identity, the body rarely experiences rest. Our specialists gently help expand the range of sensations – so that relaxation no longer feels dangerous. This happens gradually, without abrupt shifts, and always with a focus on safety.
Over time, a new experience becomes possible at MindCareCenter – calmness without loss of control. Clients begin to feel that clarity and stability can exist without constant mobilization. Tension stops being the only way to “hold oneself together” and becomes one state among many, rather than the foundation of the self.
It is important to understand that identification with tension is not a mistake. It is an adaptation that once helped a person cope with reality. At MindCareCenter, we approach this pattern with respect, helping reshape it so that it no longer governs life. When calmness stops being frightening, more space opens for choice, closeness, and genuine presence.
If you notice that relaxation triggers anxiety, or that without inner tension it is difficult to feel grounded – this is not a sign of weakness. It is a signal that the psyche has been living in protective mode for a long time. At Mind Care Center, we help clients gradually move out of this state – restoring the ability to be calm without losing inner support.
Previously, we wrote about how the loss of the ability to feel grounded in the present shows up as distractibility and disconnection from reality, and how MindCareCenter helps restore contact with the present moment.