Disagreements and conflicts in relationships are often perceived as the result of mismatched personalities, values, or interests. At MindCareCenter, however, we understand conflict primarily as an indicator of disrupted psychological contact. Dr. Daniel Reinhardt says that conflict does not arise where differences exist, but where the capacity for dialogue and mutual recognition of experience has been lost.
Psychological contact does not require agreement, but presence – the ability to be heard and acknowledged in one’s experience. When this capacity weakens, differences begin to feel threatening. Instead of an exchange of perspectives, interactions shift toward struggle for validation, defense, or control. In this context, conflict becomes a way of maintaining connection, but in a distorted and tension-filled form.
In the clinical practice of MindCareCenter, we often observe that recurring conflicts unfold according to stable patterns. The same topics trigger irritation, devaluation, or emotional withdrawal. The content of the argument may be secondary – what remains central is the experience of being misunderstood and the loss of contact.
It is important to note that disruptions in dialogue are rarely recognized directly. Partners may focus on arguments, facts, or accusations, without noticing that emotional contact has already been severed. At MindCareCenter, we view this as a shift from the level of experience to the level of defense, where the primary goal is no longer understanding, but self-protection.
Bodily reactions often precede the escalation of conflict. Tension, rapid breathing, sensations of constriction, or impulses to attack or withdraw signal that contact has become unsafe. Within the clinical approach of MindCareCenter, attention is given to how the body responds to the breakdown of dialogue and intensifies the relational rupture.
Conflict can also serve a compensatory function. For some individuals, it becomes the only way to feel connection or significance. In such cases, the absence of conflict is experienced as emotional emptiness. At MindCareCenter, we work with this paradox, helping restore contact without the need for constant tension.
Therapeutic work is not aimed at eliminating disagreements. At MindCareCenter, the focus shifts toward restoring the ability to tolerate difference without destroying contact. This includes developing the capacity to listen not only to the content of words, but also to the emotional context in which they are expressed.
As therapy progresses, conflict loses its destructive sharpness. It becomes a signal of disrupted contact rather than a trigger for escalation. In the practice of MindCareCenter, we observe how restoring dialogue reduces the intensity of disputes and reestablishes a sense of psychological closeness.
Special attention is given to restoring internal dialogue. External conflict often reflects internal fragmentation – contradictory feelings or unrecognized needs. Working at this level reduces the projection of inner tension onto relationships.
Disagreements and conflicts point to areas where contact requires restoration. The clinical practice of Mind Care Center is directed toward ensuring that conflict ceases to function as a destructive pattern and instead becomes an opportunity for deeper understanding and relational change.
Restoring dialogue allows relationships to move beyond cycles of struggle and defense. This creates space for more resilient and alive contact, in which differences no longer divide, but become part of mutual development.
Previously, we wrote about the syndrome of constant busyness and MindCareCenter therapeutic approach to moving beyond compulsive activity and loss of self-contact