The desire for approval is often perceived as a personality trait or a result of upbringing. A person may describe themselves by saying – “other people’s opinions matter to me” – without noticing how deeply this need affects their inner state. Dr. Daniel Reinhardt emphasizes – the issue arises not when approval feels pleasant, but when the absence of it undermines one’s sense of inner stability. At MindCareCenter, dependence on external evaluation is viewed as a signal of a lost inner foundation.
At MindCareCenter, we often meet people who live in constant attunement to others’ reactions. They make decisions based on expectations, doubt themselves after any comment, and feel anxious when they don’t receive confirmation that they are “doing things right.” Approval brings short-lived relief – but soon an inner emptiness returns, along with the urge to seek reassurance again.
Our psychologists note – dependence on approval rarely forms in adulthood. In Dr. Reinhardt’s view, it most often develops in environments where acceptance was conditional. When love, attention, or safety depended on meeting expectations, the psyche internalizes a rule – to be valuable, one must please. Over time, this rule becomes an automatic inner pattern.
At MindCareCenter, therapeutic work begins with restoring contact with one’s own sensations. We help clients notice the moments when they stop listening to themselves and start orienting exclusively toward external reactions. Behind this often lies a fear of rejection, misunderstanding, or being “not enough.” Recognizing these mechanisms reduces inner tension and creates space for choice.
Gradually, therapy at MindCareCenter helps distinguish between moments when approval is genuinely desired as a form of closeness and moments when it replaces inner support. Our psychologists assist clients in developing reliance on their own values, feelings, and boundaries – even when these do not align with others’ expectations.
Special attention is given to bodily responses. The need for approval is frequently accompanied by tightness in the chest, tension in the abdomen, or difficulty saying “no.” At MindCareCenter, clients learn to recognize these signals and stay with them – without immediately resorting to adaptation or self-blame.
Over time, inner support becomes more stable. A person begins to make decisions based on their own sense of self rather than fear of losing others’ approval. Approval stops being essential for survival – it becomes pleasant, but no longer defining. This shift changes the quality of relationships and reduces chronic anxiety.
It is important to understand – working with the need for approval does not mean rejecting closeness or connection. At MindCareCenter, we help build relationships where connection with others does not require losing oneself. This path leads to greater inner stability, maturity, and the freedom to be authentic.
If you notice that without external validation it is difficult to feel confident, or that any remark quickly throws you off balance – this is not a sign of weakness. It reflects an inner system that has long searched for safety outside. At Mind Care Center, we help gradually move that support inward – to a place where stability no longer depends on others’ evaluations.
Previously, we wrote about how the loss of emotional depth in everyday life drains the richness of experience and how MindCareCenter helps restore connection with feelings.